Since so many are asking how I am/why I was in the hospital, here is a humorous version (because everything is so much funnier after you don't have scares from doctors that something is seriously wrong with you anymore,) of why I've been in the hospital/results/oh the antibiotics! So sit back, grab a snack (actually, depending on your tolerance to pain you might not want to do that-but if you do choose to have a snack while reading, don't say I didn't warn you!) and enjoy the calm yet humorous way God is able to and does give you hope and peace during and after the storm.
This past week and a half has been rough, but I'm going to be fine, so don't fret lovelies! I've been in an out of the hospital twice, 8 hours each time during yesterday and Monday, been stuck with two ivs and didn't even cry; (huge accomplishment for me since I had only been to the hospital once, no not when I was born, I was born at home, but that was a good guess! It was when I got a puncture wound and needed one stitch. I'll tell you that story if you ask me about it. It involves trees and who doesn't love trees?) experienced my first ever crazy-test filled-needley-queasy hospital visit in a different state when my parents were 2.5 hours away, been alarmed by doctors, waited for results longer than needed only because the hospital peeps either A: Forgot about me B: Thought it was fun to deprive me of food when I hadn't eaten all day and just wanted a hoagie or C: Made me deal with some heavily opinionated doctors (that's a stretch for being nice, so here I am, stretching,) placed in the pediatric section of the children's ER (ok, I know I'm 19, not 21, but why would you put me in a place full of screaming babies when I have to be there for eight hours with a needle in my arm that makes me feel like my head will explode?) Let's just change those choices to "ands" instead of "ors" because they all happened and there are many more hilarious things I could tell you about like taking a ride in a wheelchair with a nurse who kept telling me about roller coasters and TLC. And he looked like my grandpa- even better. Bless his soul.
Now don't get me wrong, I am forever thankful for doctors. God put them on the earth for a reason and to help stand in the gap between health and sickness. (Thank you God, cause you are the divine doctor.)But when the doctors see something's wrong and do tests that come back POSITIVE and NOTHING is there..wel that is just amazing, and beyond anything the doctors did/could do. And it isn't just "coincidence" that when my family and friends asked for people to pray that all of my test results came back clean. Nothing, nada, ok, I don't know any more foreign words for nothing. Let's make some up: naga, nacapeesh, ok I'm done. BUT that shows how much POWER there is in numbers. That when two or more are gathered there God also will be. If two or more ask it will be done by the father of heaven (zee Bible, google that line to find the actual verse, cause I'm a little busy right now.) Even though it has been really hard and I'm still in a lot of pain (my right dominant arm/hand is numb/burns/has no feeling/I can't use it, so they gave me an antibiotic, which makes me feel sick,) during all of this, I've realized that trusting in God and knowing he is in control of everything brings so much peace, even in the waiting and unknowing. There was never a point in my situation where I didn't have peace. Yeah, it was hard, the pain is, well, painful, but his promise and that very knowing that he can and will heal you is a more secure result than any that a doctor can give to you. When you cling to him desperately, entering into that place where your heart is fully engulfed in his presence and love for you, nothing, nothing, naga can steal your joy. Your peace. Your hope. And even when you're in a state of hopelessness, like I had been with my arm not working and pain throughout my body, God still gives hope. How crazy is that? I have been able to draw with my left hand since Thursday, and it's successful. I'm not trying to brag or draw attention to myself in any self-righteous way. I'm saying these things because you need to realize what a miraculous, hopeful, and incredible God there is, and he created you. YOU. And you too with the cool afro. Your afro is awesome, embrace it. You love puppies so much you almost feel like you're petting a puppy when you touch your best friend's awesome, patchouli smelling ponytail? That's a little creepier. You always sing at college and when you're walking everywhere? Ok, maybe you should just drop out and be on American Idol, become a hippie and travel the world with your guitar, touch lives, be nomadic. I mean come on already. Someone said you can do anything you put your mind too? You have a mind, stick that on your dream Really though, don't drop out of college, school is cool, those words rhyme, and art school's artsy. The American Idol thing/hippie/travelpower thing is super awesome, so be my guest if it's for you!) All of those questions were not for specific people, most of them are actually about myself. Ok, all of them. Well, I don't have an afro but they're super fun to look at. But my point is that you should never do something because it's "socially acceptable" or "the social norm." God places dreams and desires in each of our hearts, and when you tell him those dreams, and sink into his arms of grace and love-no matter how much you are weeping, how much pain you are in, or how torn you are for what you should do next year- God blesses you completely when you follow him fully. He creates life change and awakens hearts. Yeah, a blessing is a burden, but I would rather be in this place of my life where I see other people's pain because I can relate to and love on people unconditionally then to live in ignorance of others' problems. There is so much more to life when you have empathy for people. When you have the chance to remind them they aren't alone and build people up with encouragement, that brings life. Not only to you, but to the weary hearted, the soul that needs saving. And believe me, you become so blessed from that. Not just because people become understanding and super sensitive/understanding around you and your situation, but because you get the opportunity to impact people, and there is no greater joy than that. Having hope and restoring it to the hopelessness. That is powerful. Even though it's really hard, you're super emotional, don't feel well, or have ailments, God will restore the seconds, minutes, days, weeks and even years that the locust has eaten. He's doing that in my life right now, and he does give you the courage and bravery to have hope in the midst of any kind of strife; there is nothing better than that, in fact, that's what truly brings life.
If you ever need to talk about ANYTHING, I'm always here, just a click, key stroke, paint brush stroke, laugh, footstep...okay I think you get it.
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