The Journey

I've never been in this place before and I'm loving every minute of it.

This next part has nothing to do with the picture and everything to do with the picture. So it's completely up to you if you want to scroll through this feed or stop and read. It's your choice. 

Throughout my entire pregnancy, I have grown so much. More than just because of the simple fact that there is a beautiful life growing inside of me.
But it's not really as simple as it seems.
I've been going through this entire season of vulnerability these past 35 weeks of being pregnant. Quite honestly, I never would have thought I would ever be in this place. I always knew I was going to be a mom one day, but I never imagined it to happen like this.
It's funny how the entire time I was at Pratt Institute (and NYC in general), from orientation to graduation, almost every person I encountered at some point told me I was being a mom/so much like their mom/going to be a great mom. People who had never known me.
But I never thought it was weird because I was never normal. You're not normal. Neither is the Father who created me and knew my life before anyone else ever knew I existed.
And I say this, not out of a place of confusion, but out of a place of complete wonder and amazement on how DISTINCTLY CREATIVE our God is. His plans are always greater than our own, and that simple fact Has never ceased to amaze me. Because it's always been more than just a simple fact. Life is more than just a simple fact. It's an incredible journey.
It's kind of funny, because I always pictured myself graduating from Pratt Institute, starting an important, design worthy career, meeting the man I was going to marry, dating him, falling in love, and having four kids and puppies. The end, it'll all work out beautifully!
But just because it didn't happen that way doesn't mean it still won't work out beautifully.
It wasn't normal that I got accepted into Pratt Institute for their Graphic Design program when I had never even heard of the Adobe Creative Suite.
It wasn't normal that my right arm went completely numb my first year and I began to draw with my left hand since my right hand stopped working.
It wasn't normal that I was chosen to be an RA for an international floor when I was born in America.
It wasn't normal that I passed all of my classes learning to use the hand that I had never used before to design.
It wasn't normal that I came back my second year after life guarding 7 days a week and could then use both hands when I barely had time to rest them.
It wasn't normal that I got an internship at House Beautiful Magazine and a page layout I designed appeared in their June 2015 issue when my work wasn't even accepted into the Pratt Show.
It wasn't normal that I got pregnant.
The journey of your life is never normal. That's because it was never was meant to be normal. There's no such thing as a normal life with normal people. We're all different from each other. If we weren't, we'd probably all be called Bob and be tomatoes.
I've learned along the way that God has so much more in store for me. Plans that I never would have thought of if I hadn't walked through the valleys.
You have to walk through the valleys in order to get to the top of any mountain. Unless you have a private jet, which, if you needed that, that's wonderful! Enjoy the flight.
You don't just magically appear at the top and skip over the hard parts. That isn't life, that's a Happy Meal.
The journey IS rough. There's bumps, bruises, hurt and disappointment but that's not all there is.
There's also hope in the hopelessness and there's vulnerability. You can sit and wallow in all the terrible things that have happened to you and give up, OR you can choose to hope for something better and follow your heart.
I've always followed my heart.
And no, that was never easy, but I always knew I was on the right path. If I hadn't gone through everything I did these past three years, I never would have had the privilege to be pregnant and carry such a beautiful, amazing life.
I mean, her life supply is THROUGH MY BELLY BUTTON. I'm still amazed by that and it's so much more amazing than lots of puppies.
I'm thankful that I've always had a choice, and that I've always chose to follow what God has in store for me, even if the plan didn't go in the direction I personally would have chosen. It's ok. God always had me and he always will have me.
So, I choose to walk through the valleys of life. Not because I know what's ahead- I don't- but because I know eventually I'll get to the top of a mountain that I probably had no idea I was climbing in the first place, and see that the path I followed has always and will always lead to Him. He always leads you home, no matter what path you take. Always follow your dreams, because you have a heart that dreamt them for a reason.

New Day Resolution

I wrote this on 12/31/15, so even though it isn't technically  my first post of the new year, it's my first post of the New Year. ;)

 So much has happened in 2015,  a lot of bad and a lot of good, but I've seen the good through it all.
Sometimes I think we see New Years Eve as a day to look back at the whole past year of our lives and just bid it goodbye because tomorrow happens to be 2016.
Technically though, this whole year has gone by because of each day.
It's not like suddenly we're skipping from January 1, 2015- January 1,2016. There were 365 days in between, people! 365 days to be thankful that we have been blessed with so much or 365 days to feel half alive because things aren't "fair."
 Sure, there's been days where terrible things have happened, but there have also been amazing things that have happened in those days.
I think sometimes we tend to let our situations affect who we are negatively, instead of letting it positively shape us into who God intended us to be.
You can let the detrimental things tear you down and make you miserable, or you can allow God to remind you that he has been there all along, he picks up the pieces, and he walks WITH YOU through the storms.
It's easy to sit and look at every little thing that went wrong, but it's also just as easy to give that to God and believe that he will always shine through-even when we can't see it.
Because he does. And the most amazing things happen when we just trust him with our lives in the midst of everything happening that was never part of "our plan."
This year I interned for House Beautiful and got my first piece published, I graduated college, got pregnant, moved five times, faced situations that were uncomfortable, got 2 completely new part time jobs, got several freelance jobs, and more. A lot also happened before I graduated college in the months of January-May 2015. However, none of it was "easy."
It didn't happen how I thought it would, and none of it followed my exact "plan" I thought God had for my life.
However, it was all worth it. His plan is bigger than our plan, and THAT is worth it all. I'm so thankful. Each situation, as terrifying and hard as it was had a purpose. I might not have seen it at the time, but I can see it now. The things I'm going through now might be hard to face, but I know I'm grounded by the one who faced it all.
I'm thankful for this year because I'm alive, and the only reason I am is because of God.  Even though I've had such dark times, God's light has never gone out.  God has been bigger than all the pain. His light has never been snuffed out, and it never will be. He always had me and will always have me.
 I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for God, and I've gotten through everything I've been through because he holds me. He's my anchor.
Tomorrow marks another day that happens to be the start of a year full of promise. And this isn't a resolution. What am i trying to resolve? The fact that bad things have happened to me beyond my control? No, that isn't how life works. You either take life by the horns and live fulfilled because you know who fulfills you, or you walk around lost because you don't know where to turn and you just cling to certain things or people because they help you for the time being.

This year is a year of promise.
I get to meet my baby girl, start new projects, and continue to live in God's will for my life as I continue to grow in the love and grace that he has for me.
That's what excites me! That every day is a new beginning and a new step of our journey.  Walking by faith is better than anything we could ever plan out. Following his call for your life is what makes life an adventure. You can live your life by seeing each year as just a new start, or you can be thankful for the little things that each day brings that make the next day a new start. You have a choice. You can choose. I can choose, and I choose the latter.
Live each day to the fullest. Love yourself because He first loved us. Remember that love knows no bounds. Hold on to that simple fact that you were created in God's image. You were made pure.
There is purity in his purpose. In fact, you are his purpose.
I'm so excited to be given all that I have been this year, and because of that, my heart is full.
I hope that you can see the little things too and realize that they were actually the big things. And that when you focus on other people just as much as yourself, you in turn give so much hope to people. You find the hope in the hopelessness, and in that, a New Day has already been added to your New Year. ☺️❤️✌️

Photo By Emma Ricupero

Taken on 8.26.13