As much as I could complain about working while pregnant, I'll focus on the amazing things I love about my current part time job as a receptionist.
I get paid
People tell you "you have the cutest belly!" when technically they're complementing your uterus so you chuckle and say, "Thank you!"
You laugh when you drink water because when you think about it you're "growing a human" and you are drinking water because "you need to water your baby."
Someone asks you to "move to NJ with them and become their nanny," and while that would be great if you weren't 5 months pregnant at the time you tell them, " Well, I'm actually going to have my own little one soon," while they look at you in shock and respond, "YOU'RE PREGNANT?!"
Guests don't get mad at you when you accidentally spill their salad dressing all over yourself and inside one of the ladies open purses while 6.5 months pregnant because you were trying to balance two heavy plates full of food and a tray on your stomach.
You apologize to that lady for about the 18th time when she's checking out and she goes, "It's ok, if I get hungry I'll just smell my purse!"
People smile at your baby bump. (If if you actually think about it, it's a little creepy because they're smiling at a baby who could be hidden under the invisible cloak from Harry Potter. (which is your bump). You then wonder if they are Harry Potter fans too.
People tip you!
No one glares at you while you're eating
People say "excuse me," and actually mean it because they're trying not to hit your bump
People complement your necklace, which, little did they know you bought right before you found out you were pregnant, and it just so happens to be your daughter's birthstone (And worth $2 at Forever21)
People smile.
They smile a little more when they realize you're pregnant.
They smile even more when they ask the gender and your response is, "A girl!"
They beam when they realize your mom is the massage therapist who just made them the most relaxed person so far in human history.
Then, when they find out it's your mom's first grand baby, they say to her, "that little girl is going to be the light of your life!"
And suddenly, all of the overwhelming mistakes you've made don't matter anymore because you finally feel like you've done something right. Because a complete stranger could look at you, not judge you, and say a complement that reminded you of your true worth.
I hope that you have a lovely weekend and realize that your worth doesn't have anything to do with your mistakes.
I'm super thankful and happy to announce that I am now partnering with Brick and Portal! They are a lovely online platform that allows people to create their own store, representing their specific style while advertising products from various companies around the world. How exciting is that?! So basically, when you go to their website here you can view many stores that represent different styles.
Mine is entitled Emma Ricupero, so you can easily find me! The goal of my store is to sell merchandise for $50 or lower, and use as many companies as possible whose goal is to help third world countries, like Toms. Everything is sold for a retail price, so it's actually cheaper if you select the items from my store, than if you were to go to the actual company's store.
Checkout my store Emma Ricupero , not only to find styles curated by me, but to have the chance to purchase items that will help those who can't help themselves.
Let's start a revolution. Let's pay it forward.
{ Artwork and Photography Produced and Owned by Emma Ricupero }
This is my first blog post actually posting some of my work! As an artist, I tend to only show people the finished products, but below I have some beginning sketches I just created today. Enjoy!
And this is me. Finished artwork will be posted later today!
You can follow me and the joys of my life (which currently include a lot of burritos) on my Instagram @ejricupero
There's something really beautiful that I feel in my heart when I hear about/see people who have lived over half of their lives not knowing/following God, going through so many hardships, having their lives instantly changed by salvation, and then sharing that as a testimony of his grace. Now don't get me wrong- it's equally as beautiful when someone has known and followed God their entire life- but it just goes really deep when you see where God has brought someone to in such a short period of time from where they've been.
Jefferson Bethke's new video on youtube made me think of that. He was saved at 19, is now 26, and is one of the many people I look up to because of the amazing things God has done in his life, and how God has turned terrible situations into beautiful testimonies that touch lives. How awesome is it that God places people in this world, in our lives, to teach each other about his incredible grace through our own life experiences? How incredible is it that Jeff has only lived a quarter of a century, yet his life situations are documented in a book that will last for more than centuries and touch lives of hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions and more of people?
That's what I want my life to be like. No, I don't want to get arrested at Target, although I have done some pretty crazy things like getting a ticket this year for sitting in a skate park after dark in NYC. I actually never knew that was this huge concern since I wasn't doing anything illegal either than sitting in the park after midnight. Like don't cops in NYC have more important things to do then give me a ticket for sitting on cold cement after dark?? Anyway, that's a different story for a different day, but, back to the subject. I do want my life to be full of sharing with people God's love and grace that isn't earned, but how it's freely given-when we don't deserve it- through the testimonies of my past experiences.
I've known God since I was 8, but that doesn't mean I haven't gone through some pretty crazy things- bad situations can and will happen to you no matter how long you've been walking with God. That's just life- you're still living it no matter if you were born a Christian, became a Christian or never became one. Bad things don't just happen to good people, they happen to all people. The situations I've gone through in my 21 years of life have deeply effected me, but I don't let them continue to affect me. I also don't let them define me- I'm a child of God who is loved for who I am, not known by my mistakes. Your mistakes don't define who you are.
Knowing God all of your life doesn't mean you don't have a testimony. You could have known him all this time and chose not to follow him. You could have followed him all this time and chose not to know him. Let those two sentences sink in.
It's basically the description of phrase we all know, "actions speak louder than words," put into the context of saying your a Christian, or actually being a Christian. You can say words but they're just going to be words until your actions show for what you say. There's the difference of just knowing Jesus or actually following Jesus. It doesn't matter "how long you've known Jesus," but how long you've walked with and followed him- how long you've let him know you. I've known a lot of people in my life, but that doesn't mean that I've walked with them, been friends with them, and let them know me.
Well it's the same thing with Jesus. Like I said before, you could have known him all this time and chose not to follow him, or you could have followed him all this time and chose not to know him. Many people know the name Jesus, but do you just know of him or do you actually know who he is and follow him because of that?
There's one other thing you could have done, other than not knowing him at all and it's knowing him all this time AND choosing to follow him. That's what I've done. Sure, I'm not perfect like anyone else and I've screwed up. I've fallen short and I've sinned, but that doesn't mean I'm not a follower of Christ. I've been forgiven and there's the grace of God that has allowed me to let my past situations affect people in a positive way instead of continuing to effecting me in a negative way like they used to.
I feel like that's truly how you let go of the past. and let God shine through your past as you share your testimony with people who need grace and hope just as much as you did during that time in your life. That's how God can truly turn a bad situation into something beautiful. That doesn't mean, however, that you aren't going to ever struggle again with that past situation. It doesn't mean that someone isn't going to say something to you that makes you think of what happened to you. It doesn't mean that you're not going to feel an ounce of pain from the memory of the past.
But the really great thing is that God knows. He knows your heart, how it needs to heal, and believe it or not, he tends to heal you the more you openly talk about it to people. And I don't mean you have to tell everyone you meet about that terrible thing that happened to you. If you want to- and the choice is completely up to you- you can start however you feel comfortable. Maybe with a pastor or a friend via text, and increase it by gradually telling the people you trust as you feel more comfortable to do so. It actually helps your heal and I'm a witness to that.
If you want God to change your circumstance you need to allow him to change your heart. Believe it or not, that's why he placed people on this earth. To walk alongside each other, encourage each other, and help each other grow. Nine times out of ten the people you knew while you went through a situation that they didn't know happened to you will be more loving than you could possibly know, their words helping you grow but also helping you heal. By telling them you might even discover that they too went through that situation.
That doesn't always look pretty- it doesn't always seem like this beautiful testimony right when you start to share. You might sob a lot and have snot dripping onto your shirt, but I promise you once you're healed and able to share that with people without those bodily things happening, it's going to be beautiful. When God's done with all the pruning and prodding to make you more beautiful than before- and he will do that- it's a lot easier to tell your testimony. It's a lot easier to see how God was there and he didn't leave you, now that you're looking back. It's a lot easier to realize that you were actually never alone.
That's part of how we can show people that we aren't defined by our situations, but we use these past experiences to define how good and just God is in a world that needs to know that there is hope. If you don't share what God has done in your life, that one girl in youth group might never feel like someone understands what she's going through. She may never realize how much she's loved. She may never get the opportunity to turn her life around right then before she goes down a path that is so much worse. She may not get to experience the grace that you did, or realize that grace has always been waiting for her, because that same thing happened to you two years ago and you decided not to share it because you were afraid of being judged.
I mean isn't that why we don't share things? We're afraid of being judged. We're so scared that what happened to us that was out of our control is going to negatively change how someone thinks of us, that we try to act like nothing has happened. We try to act like we're still the same happy kid that didn't have a care in the world as we ate an entire chocolate cake and had icing all over our faces, yet after eating that cake we have the worst stomach ache in the world.
From past experience, I know that if someone I was close to looked at me as if I were a bad person because of what happened to me that was completely out of my control, they weren't worth my time. Luckily, ten times out of ten that never happened. Rarely does someone who loves and supports you look at your pain that was caused by a situation you couldn't control and spite you for it. Instead, believe it or not, they love you because they understand what it's like to be in a situation that's out of their control. They love you because they understand that.
You may never know that what used to effect you negatively can now affect people positively until you share your story about how God has changed your life. It doesn't matter how small that may look to you, cause I guarantee you it will change at least one life.
If you're interested, here's Jefferson Bethke's newest video, on Youtube, which actually made me think of and write about this entire post, click this short, five minute video below. He also just came out with a new book, It's Not What you Think, which is an amazing book that I own and love, and stil haven't read because I've been reading pregancy books- HOWEVER I recommend it because I've seen and heard snippets of the book that are already wonderful. So why not buy this book and experience the entirety of wonderfulness? And the cover art is beautiful! There's also an audio book if you just want to hear it being read. The links to all of those sources are in the description of his video on Youtube. Enjoy!
I feel like it's easy to feel guilty for not doing something "the right way," especially when you grew up in the church. It's funny how I came back from NYC Sunday August 23rd with the thought in mind that I would get to see everyone back home in PA and they'd all act just like they did when I came home from breaks. The only difference was that I was pregnant, and I could just see the judgement plastered on some of the individuals of the church.
And it's sad. It's sad that the people who are "supposed" to be the most supportive people in your life look at you and judge you as if you committed this insane crime. And it's also sad because since we as Christians are "supposed" to be more like Jesus, viewing all sins the same- which actually makes it funny because my sin had nothing to do with anyone else (other than a man) and none of the people in the church were that man, so why should they judge or not "forgive" me? That isn't even there place.
I place quotations around the word "supposed" because people who don't follow Jesus sometimes think Christians follow this large rule book called the Bible and it makes them do things in order to get to heaven. The Bible is a basic instruction manual before leaving Earth, and you can call yourself a Christian and choose to follow the Bible because you love Jesus and want to live a life that's meant for touching lives and changing the world through him, OR you can just stick that label on your forehead and choose to ignore the instruction manual and live life the way you think it should be lived-by you putting the pieces together without God's help.
I'm not writing this to try to give you a lesson about Christianity, but to express my feelings towards a particular season of my life. Babies are blessings- don't get me wrong- no matter what happened to you or what you did before or after marriage to physically carry it or adopt it. But it's really hard for me to completely believe that this little girl I'm carrying is such an amazing blessing when I got pregnant out of wedlock.
Growing up in the church, I knew I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, and I knew that those were some of my biggest values all through high school, and yes, all through college. I've also grown up seeing other people in my school or the church get pregnant out of wedlock and catching myself judging them. Yes, I've done that too. And I've definitely repented because like everyone else, I'm nowhere near perfect. But I've never experienced a situation where I have gone up to a Christian I knew who got pregnant out of wedlock and said things that were judgmental, invasive and questioning their belief system.
That, unfortunately has happened to me. I've been judged in so many ways with people actually trying to have conversations with me about how "they thought I was waiting until marriage" and all of that lengthy speech that most non-believers see as what you're "supposed" to do as a Christian.
Sadly, some Christians also think it's required for you to not do any of those things in order to still call yourself a Christian. Suddenly, they forget about the large aspect of forgiveness. What makes that feeling of judgment hurt even worse is when people have no problem telling you what they thought your life was going to be about when they don't even know what you've been through, and what happened to you that started this chaotic cycle that consumed your life. And it's really sad that you have to climb out of the shell you've been hiding that part of your life in, that slowly breaks off by a small fraction of a piece each time you speak of it, to tell people what happened to you and then that judgement from that person suddenly vanishes, and suddenly it's ok that you're pregnant but you're not married. It might feel like the judgment has vanished from them, but it doesn't vanish as easily from your heart.
That hurts. Not only does it hurt that people you thought really cared about you could judge you so harshly, but it hurts even more when they realize they shouldn't be judging you anymore just because you told them what happened.
That's another thing you learn while growing up in the church. You learn to have grace for each other- no matter what people have done- and to love people unconditionally. You would think that when someone suddenly stops judging you it feels like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulder, but it doesn't. It just feels like one more person has added you to the list entitled Charity Case.
So hear me out. I love being pregnant, and I love that I am carrying a miracle. It's nothing like I ever planned it to be (is it ever?), but it's how God planned it to be. I never saw myself in this position, even at the end of college. I always pictured myself graduating college, having a steady job, meeting the man of my dreams, falling in love, getting married, and then having kids - in that order.
People also get this idea that I was corrupted in college and that's why I'm pregnant. People never corrupted me, but the enemy definitely tried to lead me down a path of lies and unworthiness. People were never the problem- things were never the problem. The problem was Satan, who's always trying to act like he has more power than God.
God might let me bend but he's not going to let me break. I may feel broken, but I have a God who can put all of those broken pieces back together and create something that was even more beautiful than before. He can completely break away my shell that I've used to hide away the pain.
It's hard for me to go to church every Sunday and truly believe that God is going to break every chain that I've felt weighed down by. I know that he can and that he will, but that doesn't mean that it's still hard for me to believe that or that I still struggle.
It's hard to listen to songs that are meant to strengthen you and make you feel whole again, yet you can barely get the words out to declare them over yourself because you're sobbing and you still feel broken from your past. Yes, you've forgiven people and yourself, but that doesn't mean you aren't still in pain. It especially doesn't mean that little things people say in front of you go in one ear and out the other because they have no idea what you've gone through. They don't know.
Yes, it's amazing to have a support system who cares so much about you and understand why you feel hurt and are fragile, but it's still hard when you feel alone because the people around you don't specifically relate to your particular situation.
Sometimes, when people don't know what happened, they tend to group you into this cluster called Single Moms. I literally hate that phrase, label, group, orgy-whatever you'd like to refer it to it as. Just because I'm single and a mom does not make me a "single mom." Do you hear people going around calling moms who are married "married moms"? No, you don't, because that would sound stupid. Well so does the term "single mom" to me, so don't ever call me that. Whether you're single or married, you are still are mother. Therefore, I am a "Mom" with a capital "M". You can call me Emma or Mom.
God's still working on my heart and my emotions. I'm even more emotional now than ever because I'm pregnant, but that still doesn't mean I'm not broken. Whenever I hear the song "Broken Vessels" by Hillsong, I always think of the verse that says, "All these pieces, broken and scattered in Mercy gathered, mended and whole. Empty handed, but not forsaken. I've been set free, I've been set free."
One day, I'm going to be able to sing out that verse in church without sobbing. One day I'm not going to have to think of the season of my life where that verse explained it all. One day I'm going to feel different while singing that because one day I'm going to feel my brokenness gathered by the mercy of Jesus and setting me free.
So I've known the gender of my little cinnamon bun since October 1st, but I forgot to tell all ya'll! It's a...
GIRL!! I just took this photo yesterday for KRZ's PregnantPumpkin contest. Todays the last day to enter by posting a photo of your stomach painted like a pumpkin to win a free year's supply of diapers! I'm 22 weeks and 5 days, and have been feeling her kick like crazy. She's my favorite and I'm so excited to meet her!
You can vote for me at the link below, thank you!!
This is my first time blogging as a mom to be, on my iPhone. ( I'll be 17 weeks tomorrow!) It's kind of crazy, all that's happened this year- I graduated from Pratt Institute in May, got pregnant, moved four times ( the last being home to PA), got a new job, and now here I am- blogging to you.
Can we just stop and realize how good God is for a moment? He places us on the earth, raises us up, educates us, gives us a career, and then we begin a whole new life by acquiring another life. It just wows me. That he the creator of it all, has destined us for so much life and greatness beyond our wildest imagination.
Believe me, I never thought I would be a college graduate and pregnant by 20. It's truly wild. But he knew. He knew every hair on my head, every trial I would face, and he knows the same amount for me that he currently knows for my almost 17 week-old fetus. He knows his/her entire life because he knit that beautiful being in my womb and has a plan for him/her. He is a good God. He is faithful, fertile, and fervent. February 2016 is gonna be the arrival of this precious gift, and I can't wait to meet my baby! But first, I can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl. I've got a list of names right here:
Girls:
Finley Kate
Hazel Acelyn
Poppy Kate
Violet Harper
Harmony Lee
Tessa Quinn
Boys:
Leeland James
Deklyn James
Going for Finley Kate (or Finley Acelyn) and Leeland James
It's super wild, and life's a journey, but the exciting thing is that we get to walk this life with Christ. He leads us, takes care of us, and shows us that his plans for our life are even greater and better than our own.
Hahaha have you ever blogged in a store? Me either. Doing it now in urban. I got a pretty ring. It's on my pinky. It's so nice out today. I love June. I love NY. I LOVE the fact that my seventy seven year old super fist pumped me today. I think it made my life. I'm currently reading Ellen's book, Seriously I'm Kidding. It's a laugh full. Is that even a word? Well I just made it up. Man i love hamburgers. There is a store employee standing right next to me. Does she see me? She's hang clothes. I'm scared. This is awkward. Hmm I don't think she minds. Gosh I love tomatoes. I'm going to get them on my burger. Oops I just scared her. Gave me a good laugh. There's a five guys right next door. I am happy. Also getting bbq sauce on zee burger. I love people. And puppies. PUPPIES. gotta get my fix. Told someone that once and he though I was getting my puppy fixed. I don't have a dog, you silly man. Oh my gosh, the other night I got asked off the subway by a cop because I was occupying more than one seat. It made me so angry and I snap chatted about it. It made me feel better. I snap about a lot of my life. It makes me happy. I like people. I said that already. I'm gonna go now before I eat you all. I'm not a vegetarian but I'm also not a cannibal. So what am I? I'll let you ponder that.
Aloha.
You know you love me.
Xoxo Emma
