Finley's Birth Story in 10 Steps | As if it were that Easy

As something I'd like to remember (because when you become a mom you forget EVERYTHING), and in hopes to shed to humor and light on childbirth, here's  Finley's birth story.
Don't worry, I will spare you the blood and gore and keep it short and sweet. In fact, I wrote it in 10 steps. Enjoy!


1. Cars are Evil. I walked into the hospital at about 8:30am Tuesday March 1st. Prior to that I had been feeling contractions that were decently consistent in the early am hours of that day. My mom and I decided to go to the hospital just to see if it was time, so we called the midwife, got my bag (which had joined us in car rides many times "just in case" I had the baby at any given moment), and started the longest 45 minute car ride of my life. Contractions + cars = death. Maybe not death, but it was definitely on the top three list of "Why You Don't Deliver At a Hospital Far Away."

2. Relax, Don't Resist. When they checked me I was already 2 centimeters dilated. I had the BEST nurse, who gave me the greatest tip of advice- don't resist contractions. Whenever you feel a contraction, simply stop what you're doing, focus on your breathing, and let your body fall into a c-position. Don't resist the pain. It's going to happen anyway, so you might as well suck it up and get over it. Yelling and screaming just makes the contractions more painful, resulting in them becoming closer together quicker (which will eventually happen at the end, but you need to save your energy, so it's best to just try to relax).

3. Pack Your Own Personal Massage Therapist. Thank God my mom is one, because I had a free one with me! She literally gave me back rubs my entire labor- here's to 21 years of never getting a full massage, haha. She definitely paid for it.

4. Music is Essential. Personally, my mind has to be in the right place for me to fully relax and let go of any fears of "what ifs" that plague my mind. Making my environment suit my mood is super important for me, so I had a playlist of Bethel music flood that delivery room. It didn't only affect me, but everyone around me, which was something I had prayed for going into the hospital. That God would move and people would see his strength in me.

5. Shout out to Water births. I wanted a water birth to help manage the pain naturally (becuase I was NOT getting an epidural. Big Needle + Emma = No Way). The cool nurse explained to me that going in too early usually slows down labor. So, I went in for a little bit at 6pm, and then got bored (I know, I know, what crazy woman gets bored while about 6 centimeters dilated? Apparently me). I decided to get out of the water and continue to walk around, use the exercise ball, and sway.

6. Laugh. It'll be wonderful to look back on this moment and realize you had no idea what you were doing. I laughed my entire labor- another reason for the nurses to question my state of mind and start to think "are we sure we didn't give her an epidural?" It's better to let go of pain you can't control. Or try to convince yourself it isn't pain- I didn't do that, but I wonder if it would have been even better (or worse and more exhausting) if I thought that way.

7. Take Advantage of Popsicles. It wasn't until about 7pm that a nurse offered me a rootbeer flavored popsicle, but OH MY GOSH IS FLAVORED ICE NOT THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD IN BETWEEN CONTRACTIONS? Seriously. I've never loved a popsicle more. I actually decided to be brave and ask if they had any other flavors (they didn't, so I enjoyed a few more rootbeer ones).

8. Expect the Unexpected. My water didn't break until 9.5 centimeters at 9pm. The midwife checked me, and suddenly the Nile River entered the hospital room. Believe every woman who tells you it's a huge gush. We're 100% right. Also, once your water breaks, contractions might not actually get closer together (mine didn't) but they definitely feel like they did, because you lost your cushion that helped some of the pain.

9. Water is Your Best Friend. At some point during my labor I took a shower, which was really helpful. But after my water broke, there were more nurses in the room, someone was standing in front of the clock and I yelled at her. Then another nurse started massaging my lower back during a contraction (WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT) and I yelled at her. Then someone asked me if I wanted a drink/cold washcloth and I yelled at her. Then I gratefully accepted both of those beautiful things. After getting enraged/starting to panic during contractions because people were invading my peaceful place/ I was in pain, I then decided to go back into the tub and stay there for all eternity (or in my case, 10:49pm, the time Finley Oliviette Ricupero arrived into this crazy, beautiful world).

10. Keep Going, You're Almost There. While in the tub, I then asked "Where is the midwife?" to the nurse. She then preceded to say, "Oh I think she ran out to her car to get her coat." Many dark words flooded my mind with rage because why, when someone is basically fully dilated, did it seem like a good time to go get your coat?! SERIOUSLY?! I  then managed to yell/whine/sob "someone needs to get this baby out of me! Now! Help!" When the midwife returned I made her check me in the water (because I refused to move ) and she said I was fully dilated. Disclaimer: just because you're fully dilated doesn't mean the baby is going to just pop out. Haha, I wish. The contractions, however, do go away! This was probably my favorite part, minus feeling claustrophobic in a square tub with 4 nurses, a midwife, and your mom surrounding you. Thankfully they were holding me up/encouraging me. At some point they also told me "yes, she's almost here." Liars. But with a lot of breathing, "more.water.please." gasps, and patient persistence, Finley came into the world on March 1, 2016 at 10:49pm. All 7 lbs. and 4 ounces of her.

And today she's 5 weeks old, has the most hair apparently anyone has ever seen on a baby (since every where I go it's like I'm parading around a tiny monkey), smiles, coos, makes the best faces, and has completely won my heart.

The day she was born was the first time I saw perfection, and as much as I told myself "I'm never having kids again" (I probably will because I've accepted the fact that I'm now one of "those moms who has kids and doesn't remember things), a child is a gift worth every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears. She's the reason I wake up in the morning (even if that just so happens to be 4, 2 hour interval times), she's the beginning of what could be the next generation of hope, and by her changing my life I now get the opportunity of being changed by raising her.

                            

                                                            

The Journey

I've never been in this place before and I'm loving every minute of it.

This next part has nothing to do with the picture and everything to do with the picture. So it's completely up to you if you want to scroll through this feed or stop and read. It's your choice. 

Throughout my entire pregnancy, I have grown so much. More than just because of the simple fact that there is a beautiful life growing inside of me.
But it's not really as simple as it seems.
I've been going through this entire season of vulnerability these past 35 weeks of being pregnant. Quite honestly, I never would have thought I would ever be in this place. I always knew I was going to be a mom one day, but I never imagined it to happen like this.
It's funny how the entire time I was at Pratt Institute (and NYC in general), from orientation to graduation, almost every person I encountered at some point told me I was being a mom/so much like their mom/going to be a great mom. People who had never known me.
But I never thought it was weird because I was never normal. You're not normal. Neither is the Father who created me and knew my life before anyone else ever knew I existed.
And I say this, not out of a place of confusion, but out of a place of complete wonder and amazement on how DISTINCTLY CREATIVE our God is. His plans are always greater than our own, and that simple fact Has never ceased to amaze me. Because it's always been more than just a simple fact. Life is more than just a simple fact. It's an incredible journey.
It's kind of funny, because I always pictured myself graduating from Pratt Institute, starting an important, design worthy career, meeting the man I was going to marry, dating him, falling in love, and having four kids and puppies. The end, it'll all work out beautifully!
But just because it didn't happen that way doesn't mean it still won't work out beautifully.
It wasn't normal that I got accepted into Pratt Institute for their Graphic Design program when I had never even heard of the Adobe Creative Suite.
It wasn't normal that my right arm went completely numb my first year and I began to draw with my left hand since my right hand stopped working.
It wasn't normal that I was chosen to be an RA for an international floor when I was born in America.
It wasn't normal that I passed all of my classes learning to use the hand that I had never used before to design.
It wasn't normal that I came back my second year after life guarding 7 days a week and could then use both hands when I barely had time to rest them.
It wasn't normal that I got an internship at House Beautiful Magazine and a page layout I designed appeared in their June 2015 issue when my work wasn't even accepted into the Pratt Show.
It wasn't normal that I got pregnant.
The journey of your life is never normal. That's because it was never was meant to be normal. There's no such thing as a normal life with normal people. We're all different from each other. If we weren't, we'd probably all be called Bob and be tomatoes.
I've learned along the way that God has so much more in store for me. Plans that I never would have thought of if I hadn't walked through the valleys.
You have to walk through the valleys in order to get to the top of any mountain. Unless you have a private jet, which, if you needed that, that's wonderful! Enjoy the flight.
You don't just magically appear at the top and skip over the hard parts. That isn't life, that's a Happy Meal.
The journey IS rough. There's bumps, bruises, hurt and disappointment but that's not all there is.
There's also hope in the hopelessness and there's vulnerability. You can sit and wallow in all the terrible things that have happened to you and give up, OR you can choose to hope for something better and follow your heart.
I've always followed my heart.
And no, that was never easy, but I always knew I was on the right path. If I hadn't gone through everything I did these past three years, I never would have had the privilege to be pregnant and carry such a beautiful, amazing life.
I mean, her life supply is THROUGH MY BELLY BUTTON. I'm still amazed by that and it's so much more amazing than lots of puppies.
I'm thankful that I've always had a choice, and that I've always chose to follow what God has in store for me, even if the plan didn't go in the direction I personally would have chosen. It's ok. God always had me and he always will have me.
So, I choose to walk through the valleys of life. Not because I know what's ahead- I don't- but because I know eventually I'll get to the top of a mountain that I probably had no idea I was climbing in the first place, and see that the path I followed has always and will always lead to Him. He always leads you home, no matter what path you take. Always follow your dreams, because you have a heart that dreamt them for a reason.

New Day Resolution

I wrote this on 12/31/15, so even though it isn't technically  my first post of the new year, it's my first post of the New Year. ;)

 So much has happened in 2015,  a lot of bad and a lot of good, but I've seen the good through it all.
Sometimes I think we see New Years Eve as a day to look back at the whole past year of our lives and just bid it goodbye because tomorrow happens to be 2016.
Technically though, this whole year has gone by because of each day.
It's not like suddenly we're skipping from January 1, 2015- January 1,2016. There were 365 days in between, people! 365 days to be thankful that we have been blessed with so much or 365 days to feel half alive because things aren't "fair."
 Sure, there's been days where terrible things have happened, but there have also been amazing things that have happened in those days.
I think sometimes we tend to let our situations affect who we are negatively, instead of letting it positively shape us into who God intended us to be.
You can let the detrimental things tear you down and make you miserable, or you can allow God to remind you that he has been there all along, he picks up the pieces, and he walks WITH YOU through the storms.
It's easy to sit and look at every little thing that went wrong, but it's also just as easy to give that to God and believe that he will always shine through-even when we can't see it.
Because he does. And the most amazing things happen when we just trust him with our lives in the midst of everything happening that was never part of "our plan."
This year I interned for House Beautiful and got my first piece published, I graduated college, got pregnant, moved five times, faced situations that were uncomfortable, got 2 completely new part time jobs, got several freelance jobs, and more. A lot also happened before I graduated college in the months of January-May 2015. However, none of it was "easy."
It didn't happen how I thought it would, and none of it followed my exact "plan" I thought God had for my life.
However, it was all worth it. His plan is bigger than our plan, and THAT is worth it all. I'm so thankful. Each situation, as terrifying and hard as it was had a purpose. I might not have seen it at the time, but I can see it now. The things I'm going through now might be hard to face, but I know I'm grounded by the one who faced it all.
I'm thankful for this year because I'm alive, and the only reason I am is because of God.  Even though I've had such dark times, God's light has never gone out.  God has been bigger than all the pain. His light has never been snuffed out, and it never will be. He always had me and will always have me.
 I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for God, and I've gotten through everything I've been through because he holds me. He's my anchor.
Tomorrow marks another day that happens to be the start of a year full of promise. And this isn't a resolution. What am i trying to resolve? The fact that bad things have happened to me beyond my control? No, that isn't how life works. You either take life by the horns and live fulfilled because you know who fulfills you, or you walk around lost because you don't know where to turn and you just cling to certain things or people because they help you for the time being.

This year is a year of promise.
I get to meet my baby girl, start new projects, and continue to live in God's will for my life as I continue to grow in the love and grace that he has for me.
That's what excites me! That every day is a new beginning and a new step of our journey.  Walking by faith is better than anything we could ever plan out. Following his call for your life is what makes life an adventure. You can live your life by seeing each year as just a new start, or you can be thankful for the little things that each day brings that make the next day a new start. You have a choice. You can choose. I can choose, and I choose the latter.
Live each day to the fullest. Love yourself because He first loved us. Remember that love knows no bounds. Hold on to that simple fact that you were created in God's image. You were made pure.
There is purity in his purpose. In fact, you are his purpose.
I'm so excited to be given all that I have been this year, and because of that, my heart is full.
I hope that you can see the little things too and realize that they were actually the big things. And that when you focus on other people just as much as yourself, you in turn give so much hope to people. You find the hope in the hopelessness, and in that, a New Day has already been added to your New Year. ☺️❤️✌️

Photo By Emma Ricupero

Taken on 8.26.13

The Perks of Being a Part Time Receptionist and Full Time Pregnant Person

As much as I could complain about working while pregnant, I'll focus on the amazing things I love about my current part time job as a receptionist.

1. I get paid
2. People tell you "you have the cutest belly!" when technically they're complementing your uterus so you chuckle and say, "Thank you!" 
3. You laugh when you drink water because when you think about it you're "growing a human" and you are drinking water because "you need to water your baby." 
4. Someone asks you to "move to NJ with them and become their nanny," and while that would be great if you weren't 5 months pregnant at the time you tell them, " Well, I'm actually going to have my own little one soon," while they look at you in shock and respond, "YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" 
5. Guests don't get mad at you when you accidentally spill their salad dressing all over yourself and inside one of the ladies open purses while 6.5 months pregnant because you were trying to balance two heavy plates full of food and a tray on your stomach.
6. You apologize to that lady for about the 18th time when she's checking out and she goes, "It's ok, if I get hungry I'll just smell my purse!"
7.  People smile at your baby bump. (If if you actually think about it, it's a little creepy because they're smiling at a baby who could be hidden under the invisible cloak from Harry Potter. (which is your bump). You then wonder if they are Harry Potter fans too.
8.  People tip you!
9. No one glares at you while you're eating
10. People say "excuse me," and actually mean it because they're trying not to hit your bump
11. People complement your necklace, which, little did they know you bought right before you found out you were pregnant, and it just so happens to be your daughter's birthstone (And worth $2 at Forever21)
12. People smile.

    They smile a little more when they realize you're pregnant.

    They smile even more when they ask the gender and your response is, "A girl!" 

    They beam when they realize your mom is the massage therapist who just made them the most           relaxed person so far in human history.

    Then, when they find out it's your mom's first grand baby, they say to her, "that little girl is going       to be the light of your life!" 

And suddenly, all of the overwhelming mistakes you've made don't matter anymore because you finally feel like you've done something right. Because a complete stranger could look at you, not judge you, and say a complement that reminded you of your  true worth.

I hope that you have a lovely weekend and realize that your worth doesn't have anything to do with your mistakes.

Photo By Emma Ricupero

9.23.13

NEWS | Partnering With Brick and Portal

Hello!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

I'm super thankful and  happy to announce that I am now partnering with Brick and Portal! They are a lovely online platform that allows people to create their own store, representing their specific style while advertising products from various companies around the world. How exciting is that?! So basically, when you go to their website here you can view many stores that represent different styles.

Mine is entitled Emma Ricupero, so you can easily find me! The goal of my store is to sell merchandise for $50 or lower, and use as many companies as possible whose goal is to help third world countries, like Toms. Everything is sold for a retail price, so it's actually cheaper if you select the items from my store, than if you were to go to the actual company's store.

Checkout my store Emma Ricupero , not only to find styles curated by me, but to have the chance to purchase items that will help those who can't help themselves.

Let's start a revolution. Let's pay it forward.

{ Artwork and Photography Produced and Owned by Emma Ricupero }

Xoxo,

Emma

Some of My Work!

This is my first blog post actually posting some of my work! As an artist, I tend to only show people the finished products, but below I have some beginning sketches I just created today. Enjoy!

And this is me. Finished artwork will be posted later today!

You can follow me and the joys of my life (which currently include a lot of burritos) on my Instagram @ejricupero 

Affecting People with Positivity: How God Can Make Bad Things Beautiful Through Grace

    There's something really beautiful that I feel in my heart when I hear about/see people who have lived over half of their lives not knowing/following God, going through so many hardships, having their lives instantly changed by salvation, and then sharing that as a testimony of his grace. Now don't get me wrong- it's equally as beautiful when someone has known and followed God their entire life- but it just goes really deep when you see where God has brought someone to in such a short period of time from where they've been.

    Jefferson Bethke's new video on youtube made me think of that. He was saved at 19, is now 26, and is one of the many people I look up to because of the amazing things God has done in his life, and how God has turned terrible situations into beautiful testimonies that touch lives. How awesome is it that God places people in this world, in our lives, to teach each other about his incredible grace through our own life experiences? How incredible is it that Jeff has only lived a quarter of a century, yet his life situations are documented in a book that will last for more than centuries and touch lives of hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions and more of people?

    That's what I want my life to be like. No, I don't want to get arrested at Target, although I have done some pretty crazy things like getting a ticket this year for sitting in a skate park after dark in NYC. I actually never knew that  was this huge concern since I wasn't doing anything illegal either than sitting in the park after midnight. Like don't cops in NYC have more important things to do then give me a ticket for sitting on cold cement after dark?? Anyway, that's a different story for a different day, but, back to the subject. I do want my life to be full of sharing with people  God's love and grace that isn't earned, but how it's freely given-when we don't deserve it- through the testimonies of my past experiences.

    I've known God since I was 8, but that doesn't mean I haven't gone through some pretty crazy things- bad situations can and will happen to you no matter how long you've been walking with God. That's just life- you're still living it no matter if you were born a Christian, became a Christian or never became one. Bad things don't just happen to good people, they happen to all people. The situations I've gone through in my 21 years of life have deeply effected me, but I don't let them continue to affect me. I also don't let them define me- I'm a child of God who is loved for who I am, not known by my mistakes. Your mistakes don't define who you are.

     Knowing God all of your life doesn't mean you don't have a testimony. You could have known him all this time and chose not to follow him. You could have followed him all this time and chose not to know him.  Let those two sentences sink in.

   It's basically the description of phrase we all know, "actions speak louder than words," put into the context of saying your a Christian, or actually being a Christian. You can say words but they're just going to be words until your actions show for what you say. There's the difference of just knowing Jesus or actually following Jesus. It doesn't matter "how long you've known Jesus," but how long you've walked with and followed him- how long you've let him know you.  I've known a lot of people in my life, but that doesn't mean that I've walked with them, been friends with them, and let them know me.

   Well it's the same thing with Jesus. Like I said before, you could have known him all this time and chose not to follow him, or you could have followed him all this time and chose not to know him.  Many people know the name Jesus, but do you just know of him or do you actually know who he is and follow him because of that?

    There's one other thing you could have done, other than not knowing him at all and it's knowing him all this time AND choosing to follow him. That's what I've done. Sure, I'm not perfect like anyone else and I've screwed up. I've fallen short and I've sinned, but that doesn't mean I'm not a follower of Christ. I've been forgiven and there's the grace of God that has allowed me to  let my past situations affect people in a positive way instead of continuing to effecting me in a negative way like they used to.

     I feel like that's truly how you let go of the past. and let God shine through your past as you share your testimony with people who need grace and hope just as much as you did during that time in your life. That's how God can truly turn a bad situation into something beautiful.  That doesn't mean, however, that you aren't going to ever struggle again with that past situation. It doesn't mean that someone isn't going to say something to you that makes you think of what happened to you. It doesn't mean that you're not going to feel an ounce of pain from the memory of the past.

    But the really great thing is that God knows. He knows your heart, how it needs to heal, and believe it or not, he tends to heal you the more you openly talk about it to people. And I don't mean you have to tell everyone you meet about that terrible thing that happened to you. If you want to- and the choice is completely up to you- you can start however you feel comfortable. Maybe with a pastor or  a friend via text, and increase it by gradually telling the people you trust as you feel more comfortable to do so. It actually helps your heal and I'm a witness to that.

    If you want God to change your circumstance you need to allow him to change your heart. Believe it or not, that's why he placed people on this earth. To walk alongside each other, encourage each other, and help each other grow.  Nine times out of ten the people you knew while you went through a situation that they didn't know happened to you will be more loving than you could possibly know, their words helping you grow but also helping you heal. By telling them you might even discover that they too went through that situation.

    That doesn't always look pretty- it doesn't always seem like this beautiful testimony right when you start to share. You might sob a lot and have snot dripping onto your shirt, but I promise you once you're healed and able to share that with people without those bodily things happening, it's going to be beautiful. When God's done with all the pruning and prodding to make you more beautiful than before- and he will do that- it's a lot easier to tell your testimony. It's a lot easier to see how God was there and he didn't leave you, now that you're looking back.  It's a lot easier to realize that you were actually never alone.

   That's part of how we can show people that we aren't defined by our situations, but we use these past experiences to define how good and just God is in a world that needs to know that there is hope. If you don't share what God has done in your life,  that one girl in youth group might never feel like someone understands what she's going through. She may never realize how much she's loved. She may never get the opportunity to turn her life around right then before she goes down a path that is so much worse. She may not get to experience the grace that you did, or realize that grace has always been waiting for her, because that same thing happened to you two years ago and you decided not to share it because you were afraid of being judged.

    I mean isn't that why we don't share things? We're afraid of being judged. We're so scared that what happened to us that was out of our control is going to negatively change how someone thinks of us, that we try to act like nothing has happened. We try to act like we're still the same happy kid that didn't have a care in the world as we ate an entire chocolate cake and had icing all over our faces, yet after eating that cake we have the worst stomach ache in the world.

    From past experience, I know that if someone I was close to looked at me as if I were a bad person because of what happened to me that was completely out of my control, they weren't worth my time. Luckily, ten times out of ten that never happened. Rarely does someone who loves and supports you look at your pain that was caused by a situation you couldn't control and spite you for it. Instead, believe it or not, they love you because they understand what it's like to be in a situation that's out of their control. They love you because they understand that.
 You may never know that what used to effect you negatively can now affect people positively until you share your story about how God has changed your life. It doesn't matter how small that may look to you, cause I guarantee you it will change at least one life.



If you're interested, here's Jefferson Bethke's newest video, on Youtube, which actually made me think of and write about this entire post, click this short, five minute video below. He also just came out with a new book, It's Not What you Think, which is an amazing book that I own and love, and stil haven't read because I've been reading pregancy books- HOWEVER I recommend it because I've seen and heard snippets of the book that are already wonderful. So why not buy this book and experience the entirety of wonderfulness? And the cover art is beautiful! There's also an audio book if you just want to hear it being read. The links to all of those sources are in the description of his video on Youtube. Enjoy!