Poetic Beauty

Tuesday I saved a little girl's life. Yesterday I sun bathed in the beckoning sun while no one attended the beach, and today I was saved from being impaled by a strong and stationary (or so I thought) lifeguarding chair while illustrating. This week, and especially these past few days have been pretty incredible. Quiet, simple, and restful.  To say the least, Pennsylvania has been getting the best of me. Now that's something I never thought I'd say before I went to college in the big apple, and something I think about more often than not now that I'm home for summer break. Keep Pennsylvania Beautiful. Those signs all over the high ways and disheveled twisty roads? Yeah, they make their mark. Pennsylvania truly is beautiful. I can stare at the wispy clouds for hours, and I usually do since I lifeguard on the open waterfront of the beach in my community that's full of caring and quiet retired folk and families who arrive on the weekends to catch the sun's rays, watching their children squeal in the cool and earthy lake. The only litter I find is a sand filled cap of a Corona light or a cigarette butt (possibly some dinosaurs, the plastic kind)-two things I don't necessarily enjoy but it's better than piles of McDonald's trash and old items I can't recognize smelling of smog, death and pooled in a murky puddle. I can sing in the quiet as the notes lilt upon the breeze and make their home in the ever-growing pine trees. Pine needles. Fresh breaths of air that are quickly captured by the radiating sun that shines on the birds chirping high above the trees. A black bear eating my neighbor's suet feeder and trying to pole vault with the feeder's stand. Sand castles arrayed upon the soft ground as two children cackle and throw a squishy blue ball across the beach, creating a game they don't even know the rules for. Splashing into a lake that is full of freshwater and free of oil and harmful chemicals. Health. Diving, spinning, sinking, stroking, breathing. Swimming is my safe haven. The one activity where I glide effortlessly across an open body of water without feeling any pain in my body other than my lungs gasping for air momentarily. My life has felt like a poem lately, so I want to reciprocate that to you. To let you know that there is more than any struggle you are facing. Stop what your doing, take a moment, look around you, and see the endless beauty in this world that was created in six days. These things we take for granted have been spoken into utter existence in a sentence.  Appreciate these moments. There will never be a moment like it again.  No matter what the scenery is- city lights, country fields, raging storms- there is always a beautiful sky that you can get lost in, letting it engulf you and remind you of the endless beauty there is in the stillness.
Dream.
Delight.
Rest.
Hope.
Enjoy.
Breathe.
Laugh.
Pray.
Be.

My hope for you is that you can take the time to notice the little things that make up this great big world and create an even bigger and brighter difference than if you hadn't noticed them at all. That there is life, and beyond your greatest moment, there is an even greater life.

Dogs, Trust, and Grace

Lately I've been dog sitting. This is the fifth day out of seven, and it can get a little messy. Two pooches- a black lab/Australian shepherd mix, and some kind of terrier. It starts with a W, and that's all I've got. Let's just have a little dog discussion quickly if you aren't already aware of these two breeds. They are polar opposites. Labs lick people, have high speed energy, wake up early, are man handled into cages, eat all of the food, jump on people, jump in lakes repeatedly, fetch, and never.get.tired. Terriers sleep late, enjoy smells, lay next to you and apparently like macbooks, enjoy quiet, and eat slowly. Terriers are like me. Labs are not like me. Terriers and labs cofunction as instigators who aspire to make me yell.  Tucker and Nia. They're lovely when you sit down and write a blog post, like now, but they're full of exuberant energy and think I'm an impenetrable human chew toy whenever I first wake them up in the morning, stand up, throw a ball, or eat my own cookie.

 They firmly belief in the movie Yours, Mine, and Ours, yet in the sense of a two year old's perspective, so "mine." I feed them, and then I go to eat and they think it's time to eat again. I call it a cookie when they want a treat, yet open my package of cookies when I want a treat, and they think it's automatically for them. They make me think of what it will be like to have kids one day. And I become completely terrified. And maybe that's a good thing since they bite. Not, kids, dogs. Actually that's debatable. 

 A blessing is a burden. The downside of them is that they can't communicate with me, however, the plus side is that I can tell them what to do. So I am the dog trainer, communicator, food service representative, and authoritative green bean (I'm skinny.) They also can't read my blogposts, which is another blessing. For as smart as people say dogs are, you would think that they could read. Maybe they can. They can't speak to us in English, so I guess we would never know.

 Nia, the eldest and the terrier with the most well-behaved temperament is a cuddle bug.  He behaves, that is, until Tucker, the massive pup starts jumping and gnawing on my hands, and thinks I'm playing when I scold him or try to push him off. When that happens, Nia joins in, except he's short, so he jumps up and latches on to me, so I feel like I'm being bitten. 

All of these complaints I'm making on the negative aspects of dog sitting are good representations of distractions of this world. They make us angry, festering on little things. But when we stop, when we fix our eyes on the beauty and inspiration all around us, on the quiet, candescent moments, we begin to realize how much God is holding the world in his hands. He never falters, he never fails, he doesn't bite. He doesn't try to take your cookie. He loves you, he cuddles with you, and restores you with a peace that passes all understanding. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Delight with him in all your ways and he will make your paths straight."

I promise you that there are good things about these dogs. Tucker shows his affection by licking your face eagerly, the only time it gets bad is if you just so happen to be singing a song when he does this, and then his head wacks your tooth. He also has the agility and speed to chase a ball in my neighbors giant back yard, and it reminds me of joy. Him and Nia sit on command. Usually it's with a "cookie," but at least they sit. Nia folds himself gently under your legs when you're only the couch. He gets warm and so do I. Free heater. Tucker wakes up at 6:30am with a few barks, the perfect reminder when I forgot to set my alarm clock the first day. 

 It's kind of crazy how God gives us relentless grace in the midst of our complaints and anger. And through that, we're reminded of what it is to truly trust him. The dogs are trusting me, so I can trust an even bigger God who puts up with my mistakes and gives me the responsibility of doing just that but with grace. Lord, give me more grace for these pups.

This is Rigby, another puppy of my life not aforementioned 

Creativity

I've been working on a painting lately, and thus I've been thinking about all things artistic. And then analogies. Oh how I love the analogies! Ever since I actually learned that term in AP US History in eleventh grade in high school, I've never stopped using it on a day to day basis. Analogies just paint vivid pictures for me in my imagination.
 Whenever I start a painting, I feel completely disorganized and out of sorts. I sketch my piece, see where the pencil marks are,  see how ugly they look, check my proportions, see how incorrect they are, erase, repeat. And I do that a few more times until it's absolutely perfect. Then I look at the whole picture of what I'm painting, and try to piece it apart in my mind, stripping away all of the layers to see  where the colors truly began. To see the simplicity. Then my mind continues to avidly think about that while my hands decide to dance across the canvas to the flow of the music I'm playing, emersed in colors that aren't even part of the picture. Then I realize how I've lost sight of what I'm actually doing. Whenever I'm in my creative zone (which is 99% of the time,) I always feel a constant battle. The battle between focus and being lead astray, I literally see that as my mind is focused on how to piece colors, proportions, perspective, and design together, while my hands seem to have a mind of their own- and it's not just since my right arm started going numb and I've been using both hands, it's actually something I've been wrestling with my entire life.
So I ask myself, " why can't I just focus, why am I losing sight of the simplicity, and making it harder for myself?" Then I hear the word "distraction."
 Distraction consumes lives and a lot of times causes us to forget how simple things can be if we just focus on what's important. What's simple.
Our brains were designed by a God who puts so much focus, time and energy into us. He creatively placed each and every brain cell in your brain for a purpose. And don't try to sit here and think of all the ways you aren't creative. You are creative. Except it. It doesn't mean you have to paint or make you tube videos. There's more to life and creativity than the obvious subjects of this noun. A lot of times, being creative can be as simple as just thinking of how to get to higher thinking. To stop thinking of this world and focusing on Jesus instead. So instead of focusing on a distraction like, "what am I not creative," think of all the reasons you are creative! You can't bash the creativity when you were CREATED by a creative God. Look at that, three "creatives" in a sentence. I'm sure you are thinking about a better way that could be said. That's creativity too. The creative gene has already been planted inside of you, inside your brain, and inside your heart. The only thing that keeps us from doing what we're called to do is distraction. But when we fix our eyes on the truth, that we were made for a purpose, that we were created by a creative God, the distractions won't weaken us so much. Since our eyes are fixed on God, he can piece together our lives, and before we know it, it'll all come together. Most of the time it's even better than we could imagine. It's creative.

A sneak peak of my current painting I'm working on for my cousin!

The Aroma of Love

Today I've been super focused on warming my heart. I woke up to a rainy day, a bit chilly, out of sorts, and exhausted. As the day progressed, the outside temperature became cooler as well as my body temperature. It wasn't until I made a piping hot mug of Lemon Ginseng tea that I took a moment to just stop, breathe in the warmth, and think. Ponder. Become thankful. I sat clenching my mug to my chest in the most elegant way a person can while they're freezing cold, and just sat in the quiet and let the light, lemony aroma seep into my tired and cold heart.
I've noticed that my heart tends to be cold here in Pennsylvania. Not cold-hearted- I've always loved people-but cold as in restricted. Desolated. But as I sit and am aware of how I'm feeling, I'm quickly reminded of how warm God's heart is for me, for us. Today I opened up my bible app on my Ipod and quickly read this verse of the day:

 Philippians 1:9-11 "I pray that your love will keep on growing and that you will fully know and understand how to make the right choices. Then you will still be pure and innocent when Christ returns. And until that day, Jesus will keep you busy doing good deeds that bring glory and praise to God."

I don't know about you, but this verse makes me really want to love people, and love starts with the heart. I'm realizing that if my heart is cold and desolated, I can only love on people and be able to show them love if I first remind myself of how God first loved me, and that is truly what warms the heart. Who knows, that aroma might even smell like lemons to you.

Or Rice.

Watermelon, Books, and Seashells

Lately I've been really into nutrition, reading, and art (obviously.) . Not only have I been annoying my lovely mother since I'm home for the summer, but I got her to let me juice a watermelon. A watermelon! Well, "my portion" of a watermelon, so a green plastic bowl's worth, aka a serving size. Watermelon is delicious, but I'm not too much of a fan of eating it before a workout, nor am I happy about getting drenched it. As crazy as it sounds, for an art student, I actually prefer not getting my hands messy.  So I thought of a better plan.
Did you know you could drink watermelon juice?? I was reading in Fitness magazine that watermelon juice contains a large amount  l-citrulline, which is shown to help muscles heal quicker after a workout. Since this appealed to me so much. I threw my portion of watermelon in the blender, pureed it, and it's now happily sitting in my fridge, where I take it out each morning and enjoy a refreshing glass. To test it out I did a small ab workout, and I wasn't sore the next day, so it works!

P.S. Recognize the towel?

    Not only did I juice yesterday, but I read. A lot. I was so bored that I read three different books, and I'm pretty sure that was all I did. Oh wait, I also did laundry, ate an eggless cookie, and sang songs from the Lion King and some other Disney movies with my darling sister. You could have seen an opera show for free! You probably also would have come out barley being about to hear. Just kidding, we're good singers!
Anyways, the first book I read I don't remember the title, but I do remember that it was really good. Joel Olsteen wrote it, and one of the stories was about how his mom overcame liver cancer when she was told she only had two weeks to live. So miraculous! The second book I finished up was Spoken For by Robin Jones Gunn and Alyssa Joy Bethke. Talk about delightful. I really recommend reading it, because it doesn't just remind you of who you are ,but also who God says you are. To be reminded that you are his bride, no matter what age and no matter whether you are married or not. It came out in April, and is online at amazon.com in Kindle version (that's what I read!) and paperback, so check it out, you won't be disappointed! I'm also finishing up The Moon and More, by Sarah Dessen. Whenever I read her books I think of summer, probably because I'm pretty sure every one of her books take place in the summer and are romances-two of my favorite things. This book is also probably why everything I've been doing is replicating the beach.
I've had a lot of seashells that used to sit displayed on an sea-themed tray on top of my dresser, seashells scattered around the tray and in bowls, adding a decor of an endless ocean and sandy beach. Well now that I'm realizing how much more I hate winter in NYC since it's much more frigid and the snow piles up higher than Pratt's security gates, I've realized how much I've missed and appreciate summer. So, I've been pinteresting, scheming, and designing ways I can effectively use my seashells, change up my room, preserve, and utilize them while also downsizing. I've realized how filled my room has become since I've gotten back from college, and have been a tad bit paralyzed by the large quantities of boxes, clothing, and limited space. So, I've created designs on many of my boring picture frames using shells, sand, and marble stones. I've also filled up a jar with shells, water and a tea light (thank you pinterest.)Today I decided to paint and seashell a giant jewelry box, and create a board that I already had some collected Dove chocolate wrappers glued onto, which I added seashells to and painted a pale yellow. It turned out looking like the floor of Katie's house in Safe Haven, which I love, so I love it! I hope you enjoy what I've been up to lately, and that you choose to keep healthy and craft as well!

Realizing the Beauty

So today was full of sunshine, bubbles, snacks, and drawing. It was beautiful out, I got to babysit two of the sweetest kids in my community, wore my new lifeguard swim top, pet the sweetest old dog, got a glimpse of how mom's feel like while babysitting a seven and nine year old, ate carrots, babysat 2 amazing but exhausting children for the third time in a row this week, learned about trains and cars from Dylan (7) didn't get convinced by Rayvin (9) that Daisy (the sweetest old dog) didn't want to eat her dog food and should instead eat carrots instead because Daisy doesn't like Beneful since it's bad for her and wants Iams-Oh, child- which caused me to go into a semi-lengthy discussion about harmful ingredients in food (thank you senior project in high school), ate delicious spaghetti because my mom is awesome, and drew a picture at the lake after getting very angry and then simmering down to experience true peace and grace. Sometimes on days like these, when I have to be somewhere at 2:30pm (which is this entire week) and don't get ready and motivated until eleven or noon, I do relaxing things but feel useless. I let anger take over, distraction, and start to become consumed by myself instead of letting myself become consumed with God. I didn't really realize this until I got so angry after dinner that I stormed down to the lake with my sketchbook. Yes, I began to angrily draw the dock (yay, it's out and I'll begin life guarding in t-minus two weeks!!) and grumble about how stupid and boring and mundane everything is here in PA, but it wasn't until I sat down drawing for at least half an hour that I felt the true peace of God. I looked down at my paper- black ink, countless pen strokes, monotony- and looked back at the water which was still, timeless, and peaceful. I then realized that in the midst of my crazy busy life, God is always there, he's always peaceful, and no craziness can disturb his beauty and peace. And now, sitting here, I'm reminded of the sunshine and goodness he always brings to me, whether it's in fashion, painting my nails, or sunbathing, there is so much more than the things I can see at the moment. There is b e a u t y.

A picture package of how I began to beautify in the beauty of outdoors!

Post Freshman Year at Pratt: A Chapter of Plans and Crazy Blessings

My life has been a little crazy lately, but it's a good crazy! The crazy that makes you feel like flying. The crazy that makes you feel like so much is going on around you yet there is still so much hope and belief for God's very plan for you.Plans. Let's make a list about my plans since Tuesday, May 13th when I moved out of my dorm for the summer because lists are fun and more organized than this paragraph.
1.Packing the car to come back from college
2.Unpacking the boxes in the car to put everything in my house
3.Unpacking the boxes in my house to fill my room with the environment I've been so used to living in for the past year.
4. Getting crafty with sentimental things like seashells and gluing them to delicate picture frames that hold so many memories
5. Sorting through a massive box of family photos from my childhood, being reminded of so many memories, and so much I've learned from my brother and sister
6. Appointments-accupuncture, dentist, tooth being pulled tomorrow.
7. Meetings with bosses planning my schedule for the summer.
8. Feeling like a potato. (Sorry, I'm just hungry)
9. Lifeguard recertification studying that I haven't started although it's May 30th. (I still have 8 days, so..... 182 hours, wow that took way too long, well I have been at Pratt, there's no math classes, bro.
10. Planning baby sitting for the first week in June- aka getting paid to eat snacks, pet a dog, and hang out with the coolest 9 and 7 year old I know.
11. Relaxing
If God's taught me one thing for my freshman year at Pratt, it's to relax. And lately, even though I have so many plans and things I have to do, right now I'm taking a necessary yet stationary vacation. I worked my butt of at Pratt, learned so many new concepts about art, dealt with so many kinds of people- good and bad- ate new food, ate bad food, found a home church away from home, JHOP, (woowoo!) experienced what real mediterranean food tastes like, completed my first ever internship, was sick for four weeks, God never left my side, was in the hospital 2 consecutive days in a row (8 hours each day,) experience my first cat scan (there was no meowing,) laughed A LOT, cried A LOT, had my first ultrasound on my arm (I always thought my first ultrasound would be on my stomach when I'm married and have my first set of twins-yeah, I'm pretty specific with my future, and also maybe kidding about the twins,) road in the first wheelchair that could fit three of me, had people throw things at me, threw things at people, experience the first mouse that crawled all over my things in my room, realized how much I hate mice, ran a marathon on January 12th, experienced true grace through EVERYTHING. Man, I should have made another list. Tangent. I also learned how to learn that word from Hall council. OH YES, I joined hall council, joined a sorority (Theta Phi Alpha), learned to draw with my left hand, learned to play frisbee with my left hand, became an RA.
So many things have happened in my life this first year at Pratt, and I've realized how much coming out of my comfort zone did for me. Leaving home was probably the hardest step for me, but once I got into the flow of Pratt, everything fell into place. God's timing is always so right and perfect. And his plans for your future are even greater than anything you could possibly imagine. This past week, I've been clinging to this verse in Proverbs 16:1"We humans make plans, but the Lord has the final word." I've realized all of the plans I've made throughout my life, my senior year especially; what college, what housing situation, what roommate, how, when why what-everything.
 I literally was doing everything I could to follow my dream of going to art school, of going to Pratt, that I became so confused and stricken by fear. Fear of the future, of if my potential was good enough, basing myself off of what people thought I could do, where they envisioned me instead of where God envisioned me to be and his plans for me. I kept questioning if what I was doing was where God wanted me to be because of the struggles I had to face to get to where I am today. But now that I took that step out of my comfort zone and stepped out on the waters where God has called me-despite what people said to me-giving God my dreams and allowing him to give them wings-I've realized how much God blesses those who entrust him with everything they have. I'm seeing so much blessing in one year, and reminding myself when I don't know where his plan is that  if he can bless so much in a year, imagine what he can do in a lifetime! I'm still learning, don't get me wrong, but being away from home, in a dazzling city of  New York, completely apart from PA, being in a college environment with people who truly understand who I am, putting myself out there for people, telling people my story, encouraging, being in a hospital with a crazy situation for the first time ever, truly being independent- all of these things, despite their differences, imperfections and risks, they all lead to one thing. They lead to knowing that there is so much comfort and blessing in relying on God's plan. That trusting him and leaning into him is worth it, and creates a plan within itself that is greater and crazier than you could  ever imagine, but it is completely worth it.